Mr TJ is my Dad's bestie from High School - they have a friendship that has spanned 50 odd years, several countries, a couple of marriages, business ups and downs and a health scare or two...(may you all have a friend like this xo)
I met TJ when I was little, really little and he seemed like the biggest human being on earth! He is very tall and generously proportioned but I have never been scared of him even when I only came up to his knee caps. He is kind to the core and has a hearty, warm and frequently-used laugh. He is the personification of the image we push to our children of Santa.
TJ has devoted his life to protecting our marine life particularly from large, foreign (and often illegal) fishing vessels. I am sure his intimidating frame and big, burly voice helped him on the job (but I'd rather keep the Santa Clause imagery!). It's a particular type of lifestyle - endless patrolling of the sea and complete exposure to the sun...the latter of which will ultimately cost him his life. TJ has Grade 4 skin cancer and has been given 18 months to live.
I had the privilege of talking to him in person yesterday and was amazed at his strength and humbled at the dignity he displayed in sharing this horrible information. I'm not sure if I used the right words to comfort him or whether that's even my role to play. At some points in the conversation I had no words at all...but perhaps that's OK too. Being sad, being angry and being uncomfortable are 'right' emotions. The two overriding emotions for me were:
1. ANGER: He is too young and the world, his world, will be sadder without him. It sucks and it's not fair. This gentle giant (rather fittingly) had 2 daughters and now 3 granddaughters - ask any of them if there is a silver lining!!!
2. GRATEFULNESS: I caught my Cancer early, I have two beautiful children, a loving family amazing friends and the 'leave-pass' to tell them all, whenever I can, that they rock :)
I can do little to help TJ - I'm not a doctor and my quest for wellness guru status is largely failing as I allow myself to get drawn back in to the Busy Delusion. I think I'm writing this blog to let him know how I have always viewed him - brave, kind, honourable and just a little bit cheeky. Now fight TJ - fight to prove them wrong, fight to enjoy your world, fight to see your horse make it over to the big-time Melbourne spring racing carnival!
And for the rest of us....be kind and don't stress the little things (yes, that's the sum of my philosophy today...just call me Socrates ;)
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