My first attempt at meditation was...how do I put this delicately, well, it was dreadful!
Once my body was comfortable and my breathing rhythmic I found it almost impossible to control my mind! It was like the comfort and quietness fuelled a thousand thoughts. My brain was celebrating having space to think creatively and without interruption. Instead of relaxing and "consciously bringing awareness to the here and now", I was off and racing - imagining a month long holiday in Hawaii, writing a book, learning to ice skate (why would I need this skill in Australia?!), inventing healthy chocolate, seeing the Pyramids...you name it - anything but stillness. Some will analyse me and say perhaps I am fearful of what I might find in the quietness or perhaps I lack discipline or perhaps I merely replicated how I currently live my life - busy!
Either way, it didn't take much for me to determine I needed help with this! So on Monday I went to see a meditation "expert" (let's call her Dr Calm). It was a meet 'n greet, no pressure to buy just a genuine conversation about what meditation is and why people practice it. If I liked Dr Calm we could go ahead with a course... The more relaxed sales pitch ;)
Whilst Dr Calm did embody all the adjectives you would expect - calm, kind, considered, she was also refreshingly intelligent, well-read and relevant. She told me how it's not easy to brake suddenly at high speed. We have to allow ourselves to pause long enough to relax. It's a really hard skill to develop in a world where everyone and everything expects you to be busy. Busy is associated with accomplishment.
"But aren't you just adding another thing on your plate by meditating twice a day?" I ask perplexed.
"Yes, in theory." Wow! She was honest. "But many clients say that meditation enables them to think clearer, sleep better, worry less and enjoy more."
Somehow the next 40 minutes disappeared as I learned about the benefits of meditation. The strange thing was it never really felt like a sales pitch, it was clear this lady really believed in what she was doing. Although perhaps that was the sales pitch?! We also briefly did some postural and breathing awareness which managed to wipe the memory of my first 'soiled' attempt at meditation (for those that read my first post on meditation please excuse the lowbrow pun)
"How much is the course?" I ask tentatively
"It's a week's wage"
"I'm sorry?"
"I find it fairer to charge people in proportion to what they can afford. Don't let money be the reason you say no. I had one lady pay me $20 a week for a year!".
"But couldn't people just say they earn...well, not much!"
"Yes, they could" Wow again!! She assumed honesty in others.
So Dr Calm's convinced me - I begin a four day course on Thursday. Here's hoping I can turn this automatic pilot off!
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