What's chemo like?

Yesterday I was asked "what is chemo like?"....

My brain knows that it is a series of well researched drugs that attack fast growing cells. More scientifically put, chemotherapy drugs are "cytotoxics" which means poisonous (toxic) to cells (cyto), in particular they attack rapidly dividing cells (such as your hair, stomach lining, mouth-cells and cancer).

But my heart and frequently over zealous imagination see it as an X-files style black poison forced into my bloodstream to eat me from the inside out...I told you my imagination gets the better of me!! Supposedly chemo can also make you have some rather crazy dreams and it would seem I've extended this to my waking hours. My posts could get a bit boring post-chemo!

Anyways, the point is I have historically tried not to take a lot of medications. Not to say I won't take a Nurofen when needed but usually I find a heat-pack and a nanna nap do the trick. Now that I have been diagnosed with the dreaded C-bomb (keep it clean peeps) my outlook has somewhat changed. "Bring it on!" I say. If chemo reduces my chances of my cancer coming back from 20% to 10% then I authorise Scully and Mulder full access (one step too far with that?).

As to the actual treatment - chemo is all together surreal. The most painful part is inserting the IV. From there, a series of bags are hung upside down and slowly (over 3 hours) trickled in to my bloodstream. My arm gets cold and I get a little fidgety but other than that it's three hours of forced arse-sitting (an activity I'm not particularly good at unless I'm at work).

The side effects are more pronounced. Whilst they have the nausea fairly well managed these days, there is a heaviness I find difficult to describe. Perhaps the closest comparison is the lethargy you feel just before coming down with a flu. Every patient has other little "bonuses" - fried taste buds, mouth ulcers, red skin, ringing ears...the list is long and odd!

But a common side effect is the hair loss. I really thought I'd be OK with this. It felt like a small sacrifice to make to extend my life. But I'm not as confident as I'd hoped. It's such a glaringly obvious advertisement that I'm "sick". And so, like most, I hide the bald eagle. This part has actually been fun - I've had some beautiful gifts from friends and family and invested in some awesome berets, scarves and beanies. Thought I might start 'funky Friday' where I'll post a Twitter picture of the latest hat - check out @imtoobusyto (check me out being tech savvy - thanks Jonno ;)