Do women actually create their own glass ceilings?

I went to a talk yesterday by a rather amazing lady - she was honest, articulate, intelligent and altogether inspiring.  She has held very senior positions in big companies (banks/insurance companies) but she didn't actually seek such roles out.  She liked fixing problems and told people the truth of whatever situation they were in.  I think she was actually quite modest too :) But...

Her honesty seemed to be juxtaposed to her gender - after all women 'have to be' nurturing...and somehow we (females included) role gentle and diplomatic into this definition of female nurturer. This lady was therefore labelled "a b!tch".   Her first task whenever she stepped in to a new role was, therefore, to disassemble this preconceived idea by taking an active interest in those around her.  She had to over-compensate for being a female leader by being extra 'female'?!

She gave a great example of the stereotypes we women reinforce (adding to our own glass ceilings). Have you ever seen the response Father's get when they drop their children at school...?  It's "Hero or Zero", ie.
   Hero = isn't that wonderful, what an amazing Father being so involved with his kids, or
   Zero = why doesn't he have a job/what's wrong with him?
And what response do women get when they drop their kids at school - absolutely nothing!  It is expected of them to perform this duty.   It really is food for thought....

I unfortunately have the opposite affliction in that I'm too diplomatic to call a spade a spade (I skirt around the edges hoping my recipient hears the subtle hints I drop).  I'm therefore 'not strong enough' to be truly Senior at work.  Or perhaps that's another preconceived idea about what it takes to be the boss????

Your first ever teacher....

Tomorrow my son meets his first ever school teacher.....I can't articulate the range of emotions I feel and I'm sure his little heart and mind are riding a similar roller-coaster!

Can you remember your Grade 1 teacher?  Mrs Mercer was mine - she was tall (or was that because I was so tiny [nothing has changed I hear a few of you say ;)]), kind and ridiculously patient.  I thought she was perfect - please, please let my son have a similar experience   xo

Famine, slavery, dictators - is 5 too young to build a child's social conscience?

I found the most extraordinarily confronting book today in the children's section of the library...It's called Dust and was written "for all children who do not wake up safe and comfortable".  It is a child's voice detailing his own death from starvation.  The images are awful but perhaps brilliant.  I won't be showing my son but it did get me thinking - why?  If I show him will it sink in, will he be more grateful, will he be a more community aware adult?   Here are a few of the illustrations - what do you think?

Kardashians - feminist role models or useless piles of commercial excrement?!

OMG!  Can you believe it, a Kardashian - can't remember which one (they all blur into one butt loving bundle of boredom to me) - is doing a TV series on how to look better after a break-up.

I am officially in that space now where anything the Kardashian's do is annoying.  But the first step to recovery is acknowledging the problem.  Let's try to objectively and intellectually rationalise their commercialism;

Perspective Number One:
At least the Kardashian's are not stick-insects and helping to repair a women who has been devastated by a relationship breakdown is great.  They can help these ladies rebuild their sense of worth, give them the confidence to launch themselves back into the dating scene, perhaps even find true love? 

Perspective Number Two:
.....because finding a man and having a boob/bum/jaw/eye/nose job is the best way to value oneself.  Congratulations Kardashian's for reinforcing to young girls that their partner's flaws or the relationship's demise is a result of their appearance - you go girrrlll! 

They really are useless, over-paid, handbag wielding piles of commercial excrement.  Ohh cr@p... session 1 of my recovery clearly hasn't gone well...

Beetroot lipstick

I just read an article that told me to suck on Beetroot ice cubes to have permanently 'natural' red lips....seriously who has the time to discover this stuff!

After the cucumber on my eyes, the beetroot on my lips and the brewed lettuce (to help you sleep?!) I'll have nothing left for the salad I'm suppose to eat for lunch.

Who does Christmas better - Mother Theresa or Taz (the Tasmanian Devil)?

Warning: this post is all over the place, much like where my head is at today!

Christmas is a time to reflect, to be appreciative and to surround yourself with loved ones....

Then why do I feel like a Tassie Devil whirling around accumulating presents, expectations and bills, whilst balancing an impenetrable timetable, bribing two ungrateful little-ones with ridiculous stories about an all-seeing overweight, bearded white guy with an endless supply of Chinese plastic and doing it all with a 'really I like Christmas' smile...someone hand that women a wine!


Of course one must also cope with this festive season whilst continuing to purchase organic foods, cook paleo dinners, prepare sugar-free lunches, clean the house (but not too much so as to render the children's immune system deficient), sort a few (hopefully clean) clothes so my children don't arrive at childcare naked, be 'present' with my children, remember I have a husband, sort the freakin heating/cooling out which has been repaired 15 times (in a house that is not even two years old - go Glenvill ;), celebrate the 7 birthdays my family manages to squeeze in 6 weeks prior to Christmas, sort the finances, do my job, be mindful, exercise daily and remember.....
... I have a house to clean, I can afford to buy organic food and children's toys, I can read paleo recipes and I have a beautiful family.

Things are not balanced for me at the moment - I'm not exercising, the chocolate is creeping back in (ahh hell, let's be honest, it's flooding back in via morning tea, afternoon tea, Christmas lunches, end of year presents and any other avenue that offers that irresistible velvet elixir), my meditating is barely existent and my blogs are sporadic.   But it's Christmas - the city is alive with buskers and garish red tinsel on my walk to work, my children are inexplicably happy with images of reindeers, I have three weeks off work and a whole lotta Summer to enjoy....Ho, Ho, Ho

Politics and Schools : will fear or fascination win?

To my son,

Next year marks a major milestone in your little life – you start school!  I am so excited for you as I know how ready your amazing mind is to absorb all the wonder of our world.  You will be exploring countries, learning Mandarin, kicking like Elliott and playing the recorder like…what adult on earth plays the recorder?!  Anyways, the point is, your life and understanding is about to grow exponentially.    And it is in this breadth of information that I find myself drowning…

You have already thrown me a few curveball questions that despite my education and genuine desire to be as free as possible from bias, I find myself answering ineffectively:

“Mummy, do days stop?”

“Mummy, is Heaven real life?”

“Mummy, are men with towels on their heads baddies?”

You don’t know yet what racism is, you are yet to see the atrocious lengths some people will go to in order to secure power, money, land or fame, you are yet to experience your sister being paid less than you for doing the same job.  You “read” the paper for the footy results but I see your eyes scan other pages and a frown settle on your face – what does that little mind think when it sees images of bloodies bodies, AK-47s and smiling assassins?

You ask a question and (generally!) accept my answer.  And so it is upon me to try to articulate to a 5 year-old the complexities of our current political landscape…. 

I don’t want you to grow up with hate in your bones or prejudices in your mind.   But I also don’t want you to be unnecessarily hurt from your own naivety.   Most people are good – the vast majority of people are good but, quite simply, some are not.  There will be some people who want to hurt you, some people who want to rule you, some people who want to use you and some people who derive their own worth by putting you down.  You cannot tell who these people will be by their religion, their bank balance or their beauty.  That is as true on a school playground as it is in world politics.   Adults play the same games as children do but are unfortunately armed.

I cannot shield you from all of this (P.S. Dad – that’s why Mum gets teary when we talk about school!), for to do so would mean a hermit life ….   So instead, be aware that hatred and cruelty are out there but they live in minute, squalid pockets.  Trust your instincts when it comes to removing yourself from a dangerous situation.   Judgments are your body’s defense mechanism.  But judge people on how they treat you not on the colour of their skin, nor their nationality, nor their gender. 

Start your thoughts with kindness, knowing most people will reciprocate.  Share your ideas generously and listen to the ideas of others, knowing that you are seeking the best outcome not your outcome.   

Most of all, step in to the world knowing that I love you as much as the whole wide world plus infinity!

Mum xox